her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
