I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
