Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
