i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
soo... how was my night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
