I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
