my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize