your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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