Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
