I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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