I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
even my farts smell like vagina
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
