dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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