Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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