I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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