I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
