I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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