While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
