i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
