Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
