Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
only if we run a train.
done.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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