lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
