My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
