I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
