he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
