small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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