i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
