It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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