Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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