just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
