The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
