Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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