Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
