this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
