I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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