it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
