He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
