I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
