no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
