Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
