I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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