who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
