That's intense
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
