she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
