there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
