Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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