Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
