I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
