So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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