Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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