Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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