How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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