He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
