Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize