He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
