Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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