Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
