I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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