Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
