It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize