Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
