Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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