I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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