Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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