Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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