MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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