lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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