i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
